Becca's First Road Trip

December 24, 2012

I've been meaning to write this story for a few weeks now but seldom find the uninterrupted time to sit down and write. I've finally found some time and it's early Christmas Eve morning. I got up early to feed my dog and unlike most mornings when I do such I've scheduled an off day as the gym so I've got a bit of free time. The story I want to tell is off my daughter Rebecca's first wrestling road trip.

She has not started working, nor will she ever I doubt, but she did tag along with me to the Edmonton PWA show this month. She's been to a few wrestling shows before and even come to one Edmonton show before but this was her first trip where it wasn't just her and I. As is the case with most Edmonton trips (I've been doing one a month since I started booking for PWA a couple years ago) I take a few of the boys up with me, and this trip was no exception. So in addition to myself and my daughter (who is 16) along for this trip were former SWA students Dylan Knight (Sept 07), Pete Powers (Jan 08) and Deryck Crosse (Sept 05).

Knight is our current PWA Heavyweight Champion and also took part in the reality TV show I did called World of Hurt. Deryck Crosse was in my very first class and also took part in WOH. Pete was not a part of WOH but would be perfect for Reality TV in that he is a living breathing 80's wrestling character. It's not an act or a character he's playing, he's an amped up animated 80's character in real life.

The trip was off to a humorous start the day before we even left. I texted the guys to let them know that Rebecca was coming with us and Deryck was the first to respond with "I guess we'll have to PG up the conversation a little bit". To this I responded "I guess you don't follow her on Twitter". Deryck as it turns out isn't on Twitter and had no idea what I was talking about. Pete on the other hand is on Twitter (@PetePowers) and does follow Rebecca (@BeccaEvers) and when I told him of Deryck's comment he laughed and said something to the effect of "ARE YOU KIDDING ME...SHE'S GOING TO HAVE TO TONE IT DOWN FOR US.". I used all caps for Pete and I will do so though out this commentary to remind you that you have to read all of his dialogue in an animated 80's promo style.

Edmonton is a 3 hr drive from Calgary and I like to be at the show between 5:30 and 6 so we all met up at my school at 2:15pm and car pool from there. So to set the stage I drive, Rebecca is in the front passenger seat (She gets car sick sitting in the back, which I think is an elaborate work she's perpetrated since she was very small) Dylan and Pete behind us and Deryck in the 3rd row seat of my Chrysler Aspen SUV.

It was an uneventful trip for my daughter starting out because we had some wrestling to discuss, so she zoned out on her iPod in no time flat. After about an hour into the trip the topic of the newly released 50 Most Beautiful People in WWE History list came up. I get a kick out of these lists, because any list of this nature is absurd, yet people seem to get so worked up about them. I had first saw the list on Twitter and was going to tweet a sarcastic outrage about being left off the list, but before I did so I clicked on the link and checked out a few people on the list. After just 2 clicks I came across CM Punk at #49 and thought, "Damn if Punk's on here I might be too, I better check before tweeting my false complaint about being left off." You have to click through this list 1 page at a time which is very tedious on my phone so I gave up after a few pages and never bothered tweeting.

So with the topic brought up, Knighter pulled out his phone and pulled up the list because Pete and Deryck hadn't yet seen it and I was curious who all made the list. We start going through the list with the obvious jokes about guys like Eric Bischoff being on the list; no offense Eric but when dudes think most beautiful people we're thinking hot chicks, not middle aged men. The conversation got louder and louder and Rebecca eventually turned off her music to see what was up. The real bone of contention with the list to one of our merry band (I will omit his name to avoid stooging him off) was the placement of Ricky Steamboat at #7. He was way too passionate about how wrong this placement was which amused the rest of us greatly. The amusing part was his complaint wasn't that Steamer shouldn't be so high because he wanted Maria Kanellis or Michelle McCool higher he was appalled because he thought there were tons of guys, way better looking than Ricky Steamboat.

The debate got very heated, primarily with the rest of us stirring the pot to see how hot we could get this guy about Ricky Steamboats placement on an absurd Internet list. Before the heat got too out of hand thankfully we stumbled onto the Jack Briscoe's photo. I don't remember what number Jack was on the list but his placement wasn't what caught Pete's attention it was the photo they used. The photo of Jack Briscoe was an extreme close up and one of the worst photos of him I'd ever seen. Pete could not believe WWE would use such a horrible photo and started losing it. "OH MY GOD... DO YOU BELEIVE THAT... THAT'S PROPOSTEROUS...." and so on and starts completely losing it and laughing uncontrollably. This gets the rest of us laughing (it really was a bad photo) until Pete is laughing so hard I notice and point out that he has tears running down his face. To this he replies, "I KNOW...I'M SHOOT CRYING" I have no idea why Pete feels the need to point out that he is really crying by adding the "Shoot", it's not like we suspected he was "working" the tears as part of some elaborate road angle we were un aware of but that's Pete.

As Pete was losing his shit and Shoot Crying we reached the half way of our trip, Red Deer, so I made my usually stop at the Esso gas station for our Tim Hortons coffee and bathroom break. To mock Pete's absurdity I pointed out to everyone that I was "Shoot getting out of the Car" and "Shoot walking into the store". After we all "shoot bought a coffee" and "shoot took a leak", at least I assume they really took a leak. I didn't check some of them may have been "working" it. we were back in the car and heading the rest of the way to Edmonton, while our friend who will continue to remain nameless continued to name guy he thought were way better looking than Ricky Steamboat.

We arrived in Edmonton on time without too many more "Shoot incidents". At the show I had to deal with a bunch of card changes and reBook half the show. This is the most annoying thing about Booking Indy pro-wrestling, guys are not all that reliable and you often have to change all of your plans. My Cruiser weight match, which was going to be the start of an angle moving forward had to be scrubbed because the one guy had the flu and wasn't there. My Tag Team Title match had to be changed and all future plans thrown out the window because one of my Champions thought it would be cool to practice doing a Lionsault and landing on his feet an hour before the show and destroyed his ankle and was off to the hospital. If that wasn't bad enough this was the Event where PWA brought in Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis and the advertised plan was for Maria to work with Jordyn Brooks (SWA Sept. 2010) on the undercard and have both girls get involved in the finish of the Main Event (Knight vs Bennett for PWA Title) This was also going to set up a mixed tag match the following night in Calgary.

As it turned out Jordyn had a family emergency and couldn't make the show and she is the only girl currently in PWA so we had no replacement. After a lot of creative booking and shuffling to the card I got it all worked out and thankfully everyone on the card stepped up and had good matches and it ended up being one hell of a show topped off by an amazing Main event between Mike Bennett and Dylan Knight.

The show wrapped up at about 10:30 pm but it would be a while before we got on the road. After the show the ring has to come down and all the chairs stacked and the promoter doesn't pay the guys until those jobs are done. I don't help with the ring, but I help out with the chairs making sure my guys do as well, so that once the chairs are done the promoter should have the pay envelopes done and we can get on the road, usually by 11:00, 11:30 pm at the latest. We got out of the building just after 11 and were on the road heading home. Before we leave the City we always stop at Tim Hortons for some food and a much needed coffee for me. This is a routine we have down pat. The boys always let me order first, I assume it's a show of respect but it also works out for the best because I can get my food, get out in the truck and generally finish eating my food by the time they get out, so I don’t have to eat while I drive, which is a really good idea in December on wintery Alberta highways.

On this night however things did not go smoothly. Rebecca opted to stay in the car, which was probably wise. Pete's had problems with this Tim Hortons before and this night was no exception. I ordered a Turkey Club and Pete ordered the Chicken. The lady at the counter told him they were out of chicken, so he too ordered turkey. As we stood there waiting for our sandwiches Pete noticed someone in the drive through placed an order and the girls started making a chicken sandwich and announces to the girl that served us, "That's the last of the chicken."

This set Pete off. "THAT'S THE LAST OF THE CHICKEN? WHERE WAS THAT CHICKEN 2 MINUTES AGO WHEN I ORDERED CHICKEN AND WAS TOLD YOU WERE OUT? I GOT SCREWED, I ALWAYS GET SCREWED AT THIS TIM HORTONS. SCREWED I TELL YOU". I was then handed my sandwich and coffee and headed to the car with the encouraging words to Pete that "Pete didn't screw Pete...Tim Hortons screwed Pete." To this Pete replied, "DO YOU THINK?" and I was out the door.

So I get settled into the car, give Becca her coffee and start to scarf down my sandwich, which turns out was way easier said than done. I take my first bite and can't get my teeth through the sandwich. I'm tugging on this thing like my dog does a chew toy and can't for the life of me tear of a bite. Becca is looking at me with a "what's wrong with you" look on her face as I finally manage to tear off a bite, thinking this is the toughest piece of bacon I've ever bit into. As I look at my sandwich with disbelief at how hard it was to bite through I notice a chunk of paper sticking out. Turns out the lady didn't unwrap the turkey before making may sandwich and there was still a layer of waxed paper inside my sandwich. I spit out the piece in my mouth, and fuelled now with Pete Powers level of disgust, storm (pun intended) back into the store after completing a full heel turn in the parking lot. I walk right past the line at the counter and dump my sandwich on the counter while explaining to the lady at the till, in a rather unpleasant tone that I didn't order a waxed paper sandwich, I'd ordered a turkey club, while most likely over stating the choking risks to them serving sandwiches made with paper in them. Most of my angry witty rant was probably lost on them seeing that there English was very poor but they sure made me a new sandwich quick and apologized a lot.

We eventually got our food, me a waxed paper free turkey club, and Pete a chicken free turkey sandwich, and whatever the other guys ordered and were back on the road, leaving Edmonton by about midnight for our 3 hr drive home. Weather was poor but the roads weren't too bad so we were making decent time. I think to pass the time I put on the Thursday edition of the Bryan and Vinny show from the Wrestling Observer/Figure 4 Weekly website. We often listen to their Impact review on our drive but this night was the first night I subjected them to the Granny portion of the show. I love the Granny segments, but I know everyone on the show and wasn't sure how the guys would react to listening to someone they don't know's Grandmother review wrestling. Everyone got a kick out of Granny and all was going well until we reached Red Deer again.

We usually don't stop again on the way back but Rebecca needed to use the washroom and I was low enough on gas I figured I could fill up while she used the facilities. We stop at a gas station with a McDonald attached and Becca runs in to use the washroom and I jump out to fill up my truck with gas. As I mentioned it's winter, and it's cold as hell outside. As I'm finishing up getting gas, Rebecca storms (it must be hereditary) out of the gas station cutting a promo. I don't have it word for word but it was something like this, "What kind of bathroom doesn't have any toilet paper...seriously...there was no toilet paper...I had to walk out to the sinks to grab some off the counter." While saying this she pantomimes having to waddle with her pants down around her ankles to grab toilet paper. She continued her rant a little longer working in several complaints about how cold it was.

We both hop back in the car, her still ranting and me laughing at her misfortune, and I start getting the chills. This is something very few people know about and I really can't explain it well, but every once in a while if I get a bad chill I freak out. It starts in my lower back and I have no idea if it has anything to do with the bulging discs in my lower back (if that is even possible) but when my lower back gets cold and I get a bad chill, I start to shake and on occasion lose control and start shivering and can't stop. My entire body shakes and shivers and I can't stop, my teeth start to chatter and my body almost goes into an uncontrollable spasm. Well just as we get back in the car I feel it starting. I immediately turn on my heated seat and start rubbing my lower back hopping to nip this in the bud. While trying to quickly explain what's going on, I tell the guys someone needs to run in and buy me a coffee quick, hoping the heated seats and a coffee will stop my pending freak out. Pete bolts from the truck and runs into McDonalds while I franticly rub my lower back while Rebecca gives the other guys a bit of explanation as to what is happening.

Pete takes forever to get my coffee but thankfully the heated seat starts doing its job and the crisis is averted and I calm down. When Pete finally gets back with my coffee, he's all fired up again, and when we ask him what took him so long (it is after all almost 2 am at a McDonalds on the highway, how busy can it be?) In response we got another classic Pete promo, "YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT...SO I'M STANDING IN LINE AND THERE IS THIS LADY IN FRONT OF ME WHO WON'T SHUT UP... SHE'S GOING ON AND ON ABOUT HOW HER FOOD SHOULD BE FREE...BECAUSE GET THIS...SHE WAS IN THE BATHROOM AND THERE WAS NO PAPER...I KID YOU NOT...NO PAPER IN THE BATHROOM...SO SHE'S BITCHING ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO WIPE HERSELF." To this Becca and I look at each other and start laughing, but Pete is not done with his tale. "SHE WON'T LET IT GO EITHER...SHE'S ALL UPSET ABOUT HOW IT'S UNACCEPTABLE THAT SHE WAS NOT ABLE TO PROPERLY WIPE HERSELF...AND SHE THINKS SHE SHOULD BE GETTING HER FOOD FOR FREE BECAUSE SHE IS APPEARANTLY STANDING THERE...UN WIPED. YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW MANY TIMES THIS WOMEN SAID "WIPE MYSELF"...IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE!"

When we finally calmed Pete down, I drank my coffee, and we finished the rest of the drive without further highjinx. I dropped the guys off at the school at 3 am and Becca and I got home about 20 minutes after that. It's was an almost 14 hr trip and my daughter's first taste of a real wrestling road trip, where she learned the first rule of road trips: the worst the trip-the better the stories.

Lance Storm

P.S. I should also note that I am no longer the Booker for PWA. The weekend of this trip were my last shows with the company. The reason for my departure is a Reality TV project they have in the works for 2013. My experience with World of Hurt left a sour taste in my mouth when it comes to Reality TV and because of that have no interest in being associated with future Reality TV projects. I do not want people watching this future project and thinking, wow that's the company Lance Storm Books for. PWA will no doubt continue to put on great wrestling action for fans in Alberta, and I will likely stop by the Calgary shows to see all the guys, but I no longer have any creative input in the company.

P.S. Follow us all on Twitter:
Me: @Storm_Wrestling
Pete: @PetePowers
Rebecca: @BeccaEvers
Chris: @06ChrisK

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